Hold the Cream Cheese

As a general rule, people who work by themselves develop unusual habits. I wish I could say I’m the exception to that rule, but unfortunately I’ve developed a socially unacceptable habit that never would’ve occurred if I didn’t work at home.

It’s kind of embarrassing, but the truth is that I entertain myself with my own belches. Not only do I make them unusually loud, but I also speak while doing it.

I know, it’s an incredibly childish habit, and I’ll probably lose some of my readers by admitting to it. But maybe if I confess to it here, I’ll stop doing it.

Anyway, my favorite belch word for the past few months has been “bagels.” Don’t ask me why I chose that word – I guess it just sounded right. It’s hard to spell it out, but it sounds something like this:


My kids, of course, think it’s hysterical when they hear that blasting from my office. Which is probably why I keep doing it.

Not too long ago I came downstairs after a day of coding, and as I exited my office I let fly with a particularly boisterous “baaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-gels.” When I turned the corner, I was mortified to find my wife talking with one of our neighbors – a neighbor who I didn’t know too well (and probably never will, thanks to my outburst).

I’ve seen this neighbor a few times since then, and she never really makes eye contact (can’t say I blame her).

OK, now that I’ve admitted to a really dumb habit, it’s your turn :) What bad habits have you developed when nobody was around?

16 thoughts on “Hold the Cream Cheese

  1. FUNNY!
    I love belching “rrrrrrr-iiiiii-bb-iiiiiii-ttt”. My kids think it’s funny!
    Speaking of kids and belching, if you watch Nickelodeon, you’re sure to see the Kid Choice Award commercial with Justin Timberlake belching the entire intro…hilarious!

  2. One is that my office is on the third-floor of our townhouse and it’s down right sweltering in there at times. I don’t want to wake my wife by sneaking into the bedroom to grab a pair of sleep pants so instead I’ll just take off my pants in the office. Worse is I’ll often go downstairs to grab a drink and decide down there that it’s too hot and ditch the pants over the back of the couch or on kitchen table. Of course it becomes real fun when I forget to collect them and company comes over to find my pants in odd places.

  3. Hi Nick,
    I work at home too … as does my wife … but fortunately our offices are at either end of the house. I’ve tried to explain to her why I do the things I do, but to no avail.

  4. When you sneeze, try saying “Mass-A-CHU-setts!” at the same time.
    My friend Chris could speak whole sentences while he belched, it was something to witness.

  5. Talking for myself. I just did that when I was working at my cutomer office.
    I had a headset and was listening to a Prince album when I suddenly caught myself speaking. I slowly moved my head around to see if there where people around me, and yes they where :)

  6. Two other words to try whilst belching:
    * Archbishop
    * Rubber boots
    Rubber boots is my fave :)

  7. My worst “lone worker” habit is not cleaning up my desk because I’ve convinced myself that this allows me to concentrate on getting things done. Sometimes I’ll go for three months without moving or tidying anything on the desk — I’m at the end of a phase like that now (I did a big cleanup on New Year’s Day) and I’m soon going to have to do something about it. I keep having to move things very carefully (to avoid landslides) when I want to move my mouse…

  8. Not really an “alone” thing, but when I sneeze the last part usually has a “HUSH!!” sound to it so I’ve added “THE BABY!!” at basically a scream. I don’t really know why. Sad part is my wife/ kids are so used to it that they don’t even react. P.S. Nick, could you email me please… either your email has changed or you’ve blocked me. I’m getting paranoid. {:I

  9. Ha ha! I’m going to condescendingly assume that this post is a secret cry from your inner Twitter! ;-)

  10. Holy crap that is awesome! I love belching; as a result my daughter, by the time she was nine, could belch like a frat boy. My wife hates it, but every time I hear my little girl roar one of those belches that rattles the furniture, I laugh out loud.

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