Category: Personal

Anil Dash got married last weekend.

I had my first post-surgery follow-up yesterday, and I’m happy to report that the doctor said I’m doing much better than expected. He’s given me the go-ahead to return to work next week, but cautioned me to take it slow at first because my energy level and tolerance for stress will remain lower than usual for a few weeks. Given that, I plan to start working half days next week, and focus my efforts on coding rather than multi-tasking between coding, support, email, etc.

I want to publicly thank NewsGator for making this down-time easier for me. When I first told them about the surgery and how much recuperation it would require, they basically said “forget all about us and take whatever time you need to get well.” I’ve worked at companies that wouldn’t have been so understanding about an unexpected health problem – especially one requiring so much leave – and I’m sure that’s one reason I’ve recovered quicker than anticipated. So, thank you :)

Update: Almost forgot – the doctor also gave me the go-ahead to see Green Day in concert next month. It’s been a long time since I’ve enjoyed a new album as much as I’ve enjoyed American Idiot, so I’m pretty excited about seeing it performed live.

It has been just over two weeks since my surgery, and I’m finally starting to feel human again. The first week or so after the operation I wasn’t able to ride in a car without getting overwhelmingly dizzy, but now I find I can ride for short periods of time without feeling like a drunk teenager.

Yesterday I finally got a haircut, so I also look more human than I did right after the procedure. It got pretty annoying looking in the mirror every morning and seeing such a lopsided mop of hair on my head (not to mention the fact that I had just one sideburn). Next week I get the staples removed from my head, too, which should make me look a lot less like “Frankendaddy” (that’s what my six-year-old son called me – I think my brother put him up to it).

But the thing that has helped me more than anything was reading all the great comments in reply to my “signs of life” post. A recent study showed that “about one-half of bloggers keep a blog because it serves as a form of therapy,” and I believe it – I’m sure my first week of recovery was far better than it might of been because of your comments, so my deepest thanks to all who passed along words of encouragement.

Of course, I’m chomping at the bit to start coding again (yes, I’m an addict), but I’m forcing myself not to. And it has been hard not to blog about all the big stories I’ve read during my recovery, but again, I’m forcing myself not to. I have started wading through some of the email that has accumulated in the past two weeks, but I know it will be a while before I have the energy to catch up completely.

In the meantime, I’m watching a lot of DVDs, reading a few books, and taking my dog for more walks than she’s used to (she’s gonna hate it when I’m better). I have to admit, I’m pretty bored right now – I’m used to being very active – but I’m sure that the downtime will do me some good in the long run.

In preparation for my boring recovery period, I bought a number of new books and DVDs to spend time with. But I have to confess that what I’ve really been looking forward to is revisiting an old love: video games.

A few days ago I installed GuildWars, and I’ve been completely hooked by it – it’s an amazing game. However, as much as I love GuildWars, its 3D game play unfortunately makes me nauseas after a while, so it probably isn’t the best choice for someone trying to regain their sense of balance.

I’ve shopped around for other games, but most of the interesting ones offer the same 3D environment. Can anyone recommend an absorbing game that won’t make me sea sick?

Last week’s surgery was a success, but man I sure don’t feel like it. Once the doctor got inside my head, he discovered that the tumor had more than doubled in size since I had an MRI a couple months back. At that rate of growth, it would’ve become life-threatening much earlier than anticipated, so it’s a good thing I had the procedure sooner rather than later.

In order to remove the tumor, the surgeon had to remove my left hearing nerve, which means I’m now totally deaf in that ear. He also had to remove the left balance nerve, which as you can imagine has left me really off-kilter. The first two days after the surgery I was too dizzy to even open my eyes – all I’d see was a spinning room – and I was told that when I did open my eyes they darted rapidly back and forth, as though they were trying to figure out what to focus upon. I’ll skip the rest of the details, but suffice to say, those first few days were among the worst I’ve ever experienced.

I’m an annoyingly positive person, though, so I haven’t really let this whole thing get me down. In fact, the only time I’d say I was really depressed was when I listened to music on the car ride home. Even though I listen to music all the time, for some reason I hadn’t considered how music would change once my hearing nerve was removed. I was pretty choked up when I discovered how flat my favorite songs sounded with only one ear to hear them through.

The other thing I wasn’t completely prepared to handle was how I’d look after the operation. Let’s just say that whoever cut my hair must’ve tackled my head like it was sheep ready for shearing. When combined with the huge line of staples going up the side of my head, my fancy new hair-do makes me look flat-out freakish. A neighbor of mine was very kind, though, and suggested that I looked like Johnny Depp (to which I replied, “Do you mean in Edward Scissorhands?”).

The good news is that I’m getting better each day, and I’m already taking short walks to help regain my sense of balance. Right now walking on solid ground feels like walking on a cruise ship riding the waves, but I’m confident that walking will feel more natural within a month or so. And once walking is normal, I plan to get back to running again (running is definitely an addiction!).

The fact that I’m able to type this blog entry less than a week after the operation has me hopeful that recovery will be quicker than I was led to believe, but it will still be a few weeks before I’m able to really tackle any serious work. In the meantime, I’m sure I’ll keep up with the blog world, and I’ll post here every now and then with random thoughts about the progress of my new hairstyle :)

On September 6 I’m having surgery which may require a few weeks of recuperation, and this blog will remain quiet for much of that time. To avoid being overrun by spam in my absence, I’ve disabled automatic posting of comments and trackbacks.

If you need help with either FeedDemon or TopStyle during this period, please stop by Bradbury Software’s support page for support options.

I’ll post here again as soon as I’m able, unless the doctor sneezes during the procedure.

Just wanted to say a heartfelt “thank you” to everyone who commented on last week’s post about my pending surgery. Getting good reviews of my software is nice, but it’s far better to hear such kind remarks from customers and readers of my blog. So thanks, folks – I’m lousy at this sort of thing, but I want you to know that I’m grateful for your words of encouragement.

So, remember that hearing problem I wrote about? Turns out it’s slightly more serious than I thought. An MRI discovered that I have an acoustic neuroma, which is a benign tumor that can be removed by surgery. At this stage it’s relatively small, but left unchecked it could grow to the point that it presses against my brainsteam – a life-threatening situation. Needless to say, I’m getting the damn thing removed soon.

The procedure is scheduled for September 6, and should last 4-5 hours. I’ll be in the hospital for 3-5 days following the operation, and recovery may take a few weeks due to dizziness caused by a loss of balance that often results from the procedure (I’m not looking forward to that). The good news is that I’ve been instructed to return to my computer as soon as possible, since reading will actually help me recover my balance more quickly. The bad news is that I’ve been told that the hearing loss I’ve been experiencing in my left ear will likely be permanent. While the hearing loss itself isn’t too bad, the tinnitus is getting annoying – it’s like a high-pitched buzzer I can’t turn off.

This isn’t the first operation I’ve had, but I have to admit it’s the first one that has me a little scared (it’s near my brain – that’s scary). Some of the possible side effects – such as facial paralysis and eye problems – are common enough that I can’t simply shrug them off, but I have spoken with a few people who know others who have had the operation, and they’ve all done well in the long term.

Regardless, I look forward to putting this behind me and getting on with my life.

I think I’m on a health plan which dictates that every year I must suffer from a completely unexpected medical issue. Last year it was a neck injury which resulted in surgery; this year, it’s sudden hearing loss (SHL) in my left ear.

It all started on my first flight to Denver to meet the folks at NewsGator. I had a really bad cold, and when the flight ended I noticed that my left ear felt “clogged.” I figured it was just cold-related so I ignored it at first, but I started to get concerned when it didn’t resolve itself over the next week.

My first doctor said it was caused by fluid in the ear, and prescribed something to help clear it up. But over the next few weeks it didn’t get any better.

So last week I went to a specialist, and he discovered a pretty significant hearing loss in my left ear. I have trouble hearing higher frequencies, so it’s kind of like my own personal Dolby noise reduction system. Apparently, SHL isn’t uncommon, and many times the cause is viral.

Now I’m taking two different medicines, one of which makes me feel like I’ve drank three pots of coffee (great in the morning, not so great at night). The other is a drug commonly prescribed for herpes – a fact I wish I would’ve known before I picked up the prescription! My eyes bugged out when I saw the drug’s description in the printout that accompanied it (hey, how many guys do you know who would want a herpes drug on their shelves?). Of course I immediately called my doctor, asking what the deal was and whether there was something he forgot to tell me, but he said not to worry – the drug had several other uses (whew).

Side note: don’t you hate doctors who fail to tell you the side effects of the medicine they prescribe? One of the possible side effects of the first drug is that it “may cause vomiting that looks like coffee grounds.” Wow. You’d think they’d write that in big letters on the side of the pill bottle (“Warning: this medicine may have some really disgusting side effects. Wear old clothes before taking this prescription.”)

Anyway, now it’s just a “wait and see” and hope that the medicine clears up the problem. In the meantime, it’s not too bad having poor hearing in just one ear, but it is a little awkward. For example, whenever I talked with someone at Syndicate last month I’d have to turn my right ear towards them, which felt a little odd, like I was saying, “hello, do you like my right ear? isn’t it the sexy one?” to complete strangers.

I joked with a friend of mine about how I keep falling apart despite the fact that I have a healthy lifestyle. We figure that by the time I’m 80, I’ll basically be a brain in a jar with a wireless connection to my computer (what, you think I’m ever going to stop coding?). Hmmm…actually, some days I’m already like that, so perhaps old age will suit me just fine?