Nose Candy

I told this horrible little story to my children recently, and they enjoyed it so much that I figured I’d share it here.

My parents took us on a lot of long car rides when I was kid, presumably as punishment (for both them and us).  I remember how incredibly boring these trips were – I couldn’t read without getting sick, and my parents would never subject themselves to the kind of music I wanted to listen to, so it was hour after hour of just sitting there watching stuff go by.

On one particularly dull trip, I brought along a little box of green “DynaMints” (these were mint candies, similar to Tic-Tacs).  For reasons that escape me now, I began to wonder what would happen if I inserted one of these mints into the nose of my sleeping older brother.  I knew I shouldn’t do it, but my scientific curiosity got the better of me, so I gently placed one in his left nostril.

Unfortunately, in his sleep he apparently decided that the little mint was something escaping from his nostril, so with a loud “SNORK” he sniffed it straight up his nose and out of sight.

This, of course, woke him up.  With eyes bugging out, he let out a terrified yell over the intense mint flavor now shooting up his nasal cavity.  To make matters worse, the green candy coating was leaking out. 

He had no idea what was going on.  I, on the other hand, knew exactly what was happening, but I was laughing waayyyy too hard to explain it to him (after all, what could be funnier to a kid than seeing his older brother screaming while green goo dripped out his nose?).  After the hysterical laughter subsided, I told him what I had done.  I don’t remember now, but he probably gave me the pummeling of my life over it (but it was worth it).

Every now and then I remind my brother of the famous DynaMint experiment, and the look in his eyes says he hasn’t really forgiven me for it.  Perhaps my strange reaction to mints is some sort of guilty response?

8 thoughts on “Nose Candy

  1. Hi all, I am Nick’s brother and I have a story that must be told,
    There is some deep significance to my brother wanting to inflict discomfort on my nose.
    Not only did I get green minty mints stuffed up my nose, this nose has also been bitten, punched, kicked, pushed into doors so often (and of course totally unprovoked) that when I got older and would bump my nose my first reaction was a vivid picture of Nick in my head. This only stopped after I started taking karate and Nick’s image was replaced with my karate instructor.
    I shared this experience with Nick and apparently the idea of someone else taking his place in this manner was unbareable to him. He invited me to his 40th birthday party. He enticed me with free food, drink and transportation. I of course accepted not knowing it was an elaborate plot to somehow put his image back in my head when my nose was injured. He even invited other family members and friends to throw me off.
    After getting me significantly inebreated, Nick announced that it was time for a slap fight. Somehow it ended up that just he and I were involved. This drunken slap fight ended at about 4:00 am at waffle house as I entered the establishment with blood spewing out my nose and exclaiming “new rule, no back fisting in the nose during slap fights”
    As I returned to the limo I noticed Nick sitting next to his extremely large professional football player friend who was strategically placed between the two of us. (I think he growled once too) A vote was taken by all passengers of the limo the decison to end the slap fight was made. Nick had a silly smile on his face at this point.
    This was a few months ago, I was sparring the other day and took a shot to the nose. Guess whose image came to my mind right away…… That devious twisted mind of brother Nick has sunk its hooks in once again….

  2. It is the God-given right of older brothers to abuse their younger brothers. As the oldest of five, I know I caused plenty of skirmishes. My younger brother once got his revenge, as when the family knelt down for evening prayers, he cold-cocked me in the nose, forcing it to spurt blood, and for me to run toward the bathroom, dripping blood on the way. I don’t know if that was such a “heavenly” experience…

  3. Ouch, that had to hurt…
    Once I had a bad cold and was taking some medication or maybe just an ibuprofen… while swallowing it, I had a violent sneeze, and one of the pills was blown into my sinuses a little ways. Took a bit to “sniffle it back out” but it started to dissolve and I remember it being pretty painful.
    PS – If I was your brother, I would have pummeled the hell out of you. ;-)

  4. Happy birthday (12th) ColdFusion (July 10, 1995)! And HomeSite helped make it popular so thanks Nick!
    I still use HomeSite+ 5.5 and it has held it’s age extremely well!

  5. The on-going battle between you two is bad enough… I sincerely hope for your sake that Hannah and Isaac don’t “head” down this road anytime soon. LOL.

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